Sponge bath it is.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Randomize
