So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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