I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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