the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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