Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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