just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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