Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
