You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
