All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
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