thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
