My Higher Power is John Stamos
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
