dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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