So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Randomize
