there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
