I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
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