There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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