taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
