idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
