it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
