just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
