So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize