To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
