I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
They took my balls.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
