Define "chronic" masturbator.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
