I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
