Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
True strength comes from lack of pants
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
