At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
