i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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