is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
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