I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
