question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
