this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Welp...herpes.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Bring me that man meat
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
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