i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I need water and some morals
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