He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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