Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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