I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
