When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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