South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I looked at my own cervix.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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