If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
