I bet he comes in French.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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