If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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