I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Randomize
