Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
