I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize