Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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