his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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