Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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