Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
