you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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