oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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