She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
