I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
