The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
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