lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Boobs are out for the taking
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
