similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
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