Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Randomize
