Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
