Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
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