dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize