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just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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