If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize