So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize