things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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