I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
