physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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