is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize